My Math Problem
​数数困惑症候群
March 28 2020

I stare darkness into darkness

until i see blooms of cotton white

I count from 1 to 100 

But never get through it quite right — 

“Did I just count this number, 

or should I count it next?”

I screw up the number

Then my eyes open wider

insomnia over insomnia 

My sanity takes a wild ride

 

On the account of OCD

stair counting 

is a never-won flight 

Before the first step

my palms are already wet

my head spins, legs cramp

red flag raids my mind 

how big is my step and how wide

also which number was I at?

dazed, confused, I scream inside 

“This sucks more than having no sleep at night”

 

I admit I have a problem

that math is not on my side

without getting much sleep

I’ll have to use the disabled ramp!

How come my math is horrible

can't even count the sheep right

I did occasionally skip classes

but it shouldn’t have been this bad

 

Yet the only measurement of success is counting 

so how do I cope with this plight

“I think I’m out of luck”

I mumble and I sigh

but I hear nothing back

because Rob the accountant 

is asleep by my side. 

我在黑暗里盯着黑暗 

盯出成团的棉花 

我从1数到100

但总也数不过十八

“这个数, 是该数了

还是刚刚数过?”

我打乱了数字

打乱了我的美梦

失眠盖上失眠的被子

也没等来阿基米德的灵感迸发?

下楼梯强迫性数台阶 

是我不体面的弱点 

还没迈脚 

就手心出汗

脑袋发晕大腿发软 

身体被危机感迅速霸占

步子多大 

台阶多宽 

还有刚才数的是8还是13?

困惑彷徨在内心呼喊

这tm比奥数比赛还难 

我承认我的问题

是数字永远跟我对着干

睡眠不足

​我可以避开台阶

​可怎么改变数学稀巴烂

羊数不利索 走路还拌蒜 

曾经的数学课明明只是偶尔偷懒 

怎么也不至于现在这样精神衰弱眼神涣散

 

过来人说你要成功得用数来武装

把功劳数出来1236897

那么我该如何应在这夹缝中求生

“可能是我生不逢时”

我喃喃自语,也暗自叹气

但我没有得到任何响应

因为罗伯这个注册会计

早在我身边酣酣不已。